Walk into a small French shop and say nothing, and you will feel the temperature drop. Say bonjour — just that one word — and the whole interaction warms up.
French politeness runs on small, precise rituals. They are not mysterious, they are just non-negotiable. Learn seven of them and France etiquette stops being a minefield and starts being a pleasure.
What you will get from this guide
- The greeting rules, including where bonjour is compulsory
- Tu versus vous, with a decision table you can actually use
- Dining rules: bread, hands, cheese, toasting
- Tipping, gifts and conversation topics that keep you safe
Bonjour Is Not Optional
In a boulangerie, a train carriage, a lift, a waiting room — you greet first. Bonjour on entering, au revoir plus bonne journée on leaving. Skipping the greeting is read as treating the other person like furniture, and it is the number one complaint French people have about visitors.
The pattern is short and reliable.
For time of day, bonjour works from morning until early evening; bonsoir covers the rest. Never launch straight into your question at a counter. Greet, wait for the acknowledgment, then ask.
Tu or Vous: The Table That Saves You
French has two words for "you", and choosing wrongly can sound either cold or presumptuous. Vous is respectful and safe. Tu is intimate and friendly.
The elegant escape hatch: on peut se tutoyer? — "shall we use tu?" Ask, do not assume. If someone addresses you as tu and you keep answering vous, you have quietly declined the friendship.
La Bise: Correct, But Count Carefully
The cheek kiss is real, but it is not for strangers and not for business. It is for friends, family, and friends-of-friends at social gatherings.
The number of kisses varies by region — one in parts of Brittany, two in Paris, three or four in much of the south. You never count out loud. You simply offer your cheek, follow their rhythm, and stop when they stop. Locals find the confusion funny for about ten seconds and then forgive you.
Dining: Where the Rules Live
Meals are the arena where French etiquette is most visible. Most of it feels warm rather than strict, once you know the moves.
Two more details worth gold. When you toast, look the person in the eye — glancing away is said to bring bad luck, and it is also noticed. And when a cheese course arrives, it is traditionally served before dessert; take a small slice, and never cut the tip off the wedge — the point belongs to everyone.
Paying, Tipping and the Bill
Restaurant service is included by law. Prices say service compris, and staff are paid wages, not tips. That does not mean you leave nothing.
Ask for the bill with l'addition, s'il vous plaît. Splitting is fine and common — on partage? — but expect the waiter to handle the card machine once, not once per person in a hurry.
Etiquette is grammar with a smile.
Almost every rule above is really a language rule: vous choices, conditional politeness with je voudrais, the exact phrase for ordering without sounding rude. Fast, guided conversation practice with an AI voice tutor fixes all of it — reacting the way real French people react, at your own pace.
Learn French the way it is spoken →Create a free accountPoliteness Phrases That Buy You Goodwill
French politeness leans on grammar, not volume. The conditional tense is your best friend.
Level of formality also shows in your pronoun stack: vous plus Monsieur/Madame plus s'il vous plaît is the full formal suit of armour. It rarely fails.
Gifts, Small Talk and Punctuality
Bringing something? Flowers are lovely, with rules. An odd number, never thirteen. Avoid chrysanthemums entirely — they belong at funerals — and do not bring red roses to someone you are not romantically involved with. Chocolate, wine, pastries or a good book never miss.
Punctuality splits in two. For appointments, trains, doctors and work, be on time — five minutes late already demands an apology. For a dinner invitation at a home, arriving ten to fifteen minutes after the stated hour is normal and even courteous, since the host needs a moment.
Practise the Rituals, Not Just the Vocabulary
Etiquette is a performance, and performances need rehearsal. Say bonjour out loud as you leave the house. Order your coffee in French even in an English-speaking café. Practise the bise motion with a friend so it feels natural rather than alarming.
Then read the culture pages of Atout France, the official tourism site, and check France Éducation International for how politeness and register are assessed in the DELF speaking papers. Both show the same thing: good manners and good French are the same skill.
Land in France already sounding at home.
Self-paced AI voice lessons rehearse the real scenes — ordering, asking, apologising, disagreeing gently — so that by the time you are standing at that boulangerie counter, bonjour and je voudrais arrive without a thought.
Start with a free placement check →Create a free accountFrequently Asked Questions
**Do I really have to say bonjour when entering a shop?** Yes. It is the single most important rule on this list. A greeting takes one second and changes the entire interaction.
Is la bise expected from visitors? No. It is for social settings and people you have met, not for shops, hotels or offices. A handshake and a warm bonjour cover almost everything.
How much should I tip in France? Service is included, so tipping is optional. Rounding up is normal; five per cent for excellent service at a restaurant is more than enough.
Is it rude to speak English in France? Not at all. It is rude to skip the greeting and assume. Open with bonjour, excusez-moi and ask whether English is possible — the attempt at French is what people remember.
References & Further Reading
- Atout France — the official tourism site — regional customs and practical visitor guidance.
- Institut français — cultural programmes that explain French social conventions.
- Alliance Française — conversation courses covering register and politeness.
- France Éducation International — DELF/DALF — how polite register is assessed in speaking exams.
- Council of Europe — CEFR — sociolinguistic competence descriptors for learners.